NY, pt 4

20 January 2010

”…and that, my brother, is exactly what we can find in the Holy Book, when Matthew said…”

”…and we could be on Jerome and 128th right now if I chose not to listen to YOU, and I would have made it VERY fucking clear to her…”

”…learn that we are judged only by ourself, my brother, and that’s why I’m sure our holy sheperd has no problem with what is happening between the two of us, and when that day….”

”…and when I hear that fucking guy, it just fucking makes we want to blow up, ya know. It’s all these fucking people just bullshitting, it’s fucking killing me.”

“Look, buddy, either you fucking take it or leave it. I ain’t got no quips with Him. I hope you ain’t got no neither.”

“Fucking bullshit. Same all my life”

“People, do we have a HAT TAPIC here or what? Let’s talk about this shit right here and now!! What a HAT TOPIC!”

“Let’s move to the front, this is gonna get ugly.”

“Man fuck, you don”t fucking get it. I respect your shit. But I’m fucking pissed for a fucking good reason right now. I COULD FUCK LUCIFER IS HIS GODDAMN ASS right now.”

“Look, I’m coming right down to you right, and you’re going to explain right in my face what”

“Guys, stop this bullshit, you’re scaring my little sister. Get back to your damn seat.”

“Let’s move back to the middle. This is too fucking funny.”

“The only damn God I could ever respect, is one that would condemn me right here and now.  No pussy stuff. No fucking forgiveness. That’s a fucking God I could believe in. Fuck my life. FUCKING FUCK LIFE!!!”

As on cue, the train screeches to a halt. Something is up. Outside is not the platform, but a tunnel bleakly lit by fluorescent light.

Everyone is quite for a full 3 minutes.

“Excuse me people, the F train in front of us just hit someone on the rails. It’s probably not a suicide, just an accident. Be aware that you will not have to walk through the tunnels, we’re gonna run the front of the train right to the edge of the platform, and you will be asked to move to the front of the train to get there. But please stay seated, I’ll come back when we’re good to go.”


“Is this a HAT TAPIC or what!!!”

“Don’t worry sis, it’s all gonna be alright.”

“Man, I’m gonna call 1-800-LAWYERZ first thing in the morning. And folks, do the same! Man, trauma on the A Local! Call your local! I’m suffering some major emotional damage. What a HAT TAPIC! Do you even realize how much money you can get for this? Call 1-800-LAWYERZ people, it’s your duty!”

“Ok people, we cannot get close enough to the platform to be safe. we’re going to hook up the front of this train with the back of the F. When called by the police, please proceed to the front of this train, continue to the back of the F train. Listen to the police officers, don’t stop to look around on anything, it’s all going ot be allright.”

“Man, can you believe this shit? They’re not going to hesitate at 1-8000-LAWYERS. Serious people, do the same at me. At least get some money out of this shit. Smile folds, I’m taking a picture as evidence! Man, wadda HAT TAPIC!!!!”

It took us more or less 3 hours to go from Manhattan to Bedsty, Brooklyn. I had the time of my life.